Why Are Young People Avoiding Committed Romantic Relationships? – Interview with Jack Kammer
Intro: According to a report from the Pew Research Center, a random sampling of nearly 5,000 adults in the U.S., showed that 50 percent of single people are not interested in committed romantic relationships, and are not even interested in dating. Another 10 percent want nothing more than casual dates. This trend has been true for at least the past 15 Years
Here to help us understand this trend is Jack Kammer, who has a passion of helping people see and understand the connection between gender issues and some of America’s social problems. Jack has talked about issues between the sexes on radio, publications, podcasts and in person. He’s even appeared before both houses in Congress! His book called “Good Will Toward Men attempts to help us understand the breakdown is between men and women, and what to bring a balance of power between the sexes. Today, we hope to have an honest conversation about why young people are avoiding committed romantic relationships, and to help them feel more comfortable and safe about pursuing committed, romantic relationships in the future.
I. This is the chaos: Half of single people don’t want a relationship, or even to date!
Jack
• It’s not necessarily that men and women don’t want to be in relationship. Men and women don’t want to be in a certain KIND of relationship
• What does commitment by a man to a woman look like? What does commitment by a woman to a man look like?
• Equality in a relationship as an example: “Who should pay for the first date?”
• Many men DO want an equal relationship…and…what does that look like and what are the expectations?
II. Tracy
• Most of the people who present themselves for psychotherapy are dissatisfied with their relationships
III. Jack – A Message to the Pew People (Researchers)
• “They are not capturing what is on men’s minds”
• Timestamp 7:37 Jack’s mission: To try and articulate in a friendly way the male perspective, and to try and help people understand the male perspective.
• INCELs (Involuntary Celibate) and MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) are commonly associated with anger, which is a secondary emotion. “There’s probably something they felt before they felt angry.”
• Call to action: For men to put into words what they feel and discuss it in a friendly way, to women who are wiling to discuss it in a friendly way.
Timestamp 9:45: “It makes perfect sense why men don’t want relationship because the idea of a relationship has been so distorted. Men don’t want the trouble with a “relationship,” and would rather have the freedom to not be in a relationship. However….most men want to be loved, valued and appreciated. So they DO want relationships!
• Tracy: “What questions should the Pew Center have asked on the survey?”
• Jack: “Would you like to have a happy, committed relationship with a woman who loves you?”
The social media algorithm: When they want men to click, they show horrible visions of women. When they want women to click, they show horrible visions of men.
• Tracy: What about a relationship that is physically and emotionally and “Safe
• Jack: Better to say to be in a relationship where you feel appreciated and understood.
www.noreallyiinsist.com: Jack’s Dating App Questions, concerning work-life balance
Men want more!
INCELs – 18:24 “Involuntarily Celibate” (See Elliot Rodger) He killed 6 people, 2 women and 4 men in Isla Vista California on 5/23/14. “I don’t think he does a good job of representing men who want to get laid.”
Video: Dramatization on INCELs (See full video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NJois4JMGU&t=5s
• Jack: “I’m not sure Elliot Rodger is the best example of an INCEL.” “He was a sick, sick person.”
• Tracy: “What do you think the couple could have done...
